On weekends I get a little treatment reprieve: no radiation and no Xeloda (oral chemo). This weekend, by some miracle, on Saturday afternoon I was feeling fabulous. It was almost shocking. I felt better than I’ve felt for months. It didn’t make sense to me since I’d just finished my first full week of treatment, but I wasn’t arguing. [...]
Archive for August, 2009
Riding the Wave
Posted in Journal Entries, tagged lethargy, mental fog, Voodoo Doll on August 31, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Rumi’s Guest House
Posted in Journal Entries, Misc, tagged poem, Rumi, The Guest House, voice mail on August 28, 2009 | 2 Comments »
One day not long ago, while I was off somewhere dealing with having cancer, my sweetie Tim left a message on my voice mail. It was simply him reading Rumi’s poem The Guest House into the phone. I was moved to tears when I heard his voice and the words of this beautiful poem. Now, a day doesn’t go by that I don’t [...]
Radiation Treatment
Posted in Journal Entries, tagged radiation treatment, Sharpies, tattoos on August 27, 2009 | 3 Comments »
I’ve had six radiation treatments so far, out of a total of thirty. The daily process is really very quick and painless (it’s those side effects that won’t be so painless over time). Driving to the Cancer Center, changing into a gown, and get positioned perfectly on the table takes much more time than the [...]
Haircut
Posted in Journal Entries, tagged hair loss, haircut on August 26, 2009 | 7 Comments »
I’ve been wanting to do something different with my hair for a while anyway. I was surprised when my doctors first told me that the particular chemotherapy drugs I’m on don’t have the common side effect of total hair loss (although they did say it may “thin” a bit). I’d already prepared myself for losing it, and had begun daydreaming about [...]
Bandelier
Posted in Journal Entries, tagged Bandelier National Monument, cliff dwellings on August 24, 2009 | 1 Comment »
Four treatments down, and only twenty-six left to go! So far, the only real effect I’m noticing is that I tire more easily than usual. Last week I had just three consecutive days of radiation and chemo pills (plus the first dose of once-a-week chemo “infusion”). I did pretty well until Friday night, when I was suddenly really tired, but I’d also had a full [...]
Alison’s Visit
Posted in Journal Entries on August 22, 2009 | 1 Comment »
I’m enjoying a visit with my friend Alison this weekend. She’s been with me through thick and thin for more than 22 years. So, of course she would come check on me during these first few days of chemo and radiation treatment. Thankfully, I’m still feeling pretty good (although I’ll admit a little fatigue has crept in already), so we’ve been [...]
The Inward Battle
Posted in Journal Entries, tagged inward battle, Mark Nepo, Swami Sivananda, The Book of Awakening on August 21, 2009 | 2 Comments »
I turned to the meditation for August 20th in my beloved Book of Awakening and, as often happens, found something in the entry that spoke directly to my current situation. I smiled with recognition as I read this quote by Swami Sivananda: The inward battle – against our mind, our wounds, and the residues of the past – is more terrible than outward battle. Although [...]
1st Chemo Treatment
Posted in Journal Entries on August 20, 2009 | 3 Comments »
I made it through my first long day of chemotherapy yesterday. It actually started at home when I took my first two chemo pills after breakfast. Even though I knew there wouldn’t be any immediate side effects, my overactive imagination kept waiting for something awful to start happening! Before I left home, I packed a bag to take with me to the Cancer Center. [...]
Treatment Regimen
Posted in Journal Entries, tagged chemo treatment regimen, Eloxatin, radiation treatment, Xeloda on August 19, 2009 | 1 Comment »
My actual treatment begins in earnest today. Here’s the regimen (for now at least – there’s always the possibility of having it change it as we go along): I’ll go to the St. Vincent’s Cancer Center five days a week (it’s only about 15 minutes from my house so that’s handy). I’ll have radiation therapy [...]
“Port-a-cath” (part 2)
Posted in Journal Entries on August 18, 2009 | 3 Comments »
I made it through the port placement, but no part of it was fun. I couldn’t get comfortable enough to sleep well last night, and this morning it feels like someone slugged me hard in the tender area between my right collar bone and shoulder. There’s a dressing over the incision, but I can see that the [...]
