A Different Wholeness

If you’ve read any of my previous entries, you’re already aware that I’ve chosen the conventional allopathic treatments for cancer (surgery, radiation, chemo – or as some have described it: slash, burn, poison). I guess I have to admit I never seriously considered not going the traditional route.  I’m aware there are people who forgo the conventional treatments entirely in favor of alternative options. I even met some folks who made that choice when I lived and worked in the Keys. I’m quite sure they were doing what was right for them under the circumstances. As an on-looker, it’s easy to make judgments about other people’s choices. Until being faced with the immediate need for cancer treatment myself, I don’t think I could have truly said what would be right for me.

Nonetheless, I am still considering alternative therapies to use in addition to (not instead of) the western medicine I’m doing. I’m researching ways to build my immune system up, both before the treatment starts and during it. I’m considering consulting with a nutritionist in Utah who works exclusively with cancer patients, who would create a nutrition plan tailored specifically for me, including diet and supplements. I’m thinking about trying acupuncture which, prior to this, I’d never been very keen on doing. I’m committed to continuing my yoga practice to the extent I am able (probably shifting to more restorative poses for a while). And I’m already working with a woman here in Santa Fe who is perhaps best described as an “Energy Healer” (more on that tomorrow!).

But I’ve been a bit inundated with information from friends telling me about various healing modes they’d like me to consider. I really want to stay open to whatever information crosses my radar screen, though I can’t help but be overwhelmed and even a little vulnerable to all the ideas people are sending my way. A part of me doesn’t want to turn down something that might really help. As an example, while I was in Vitamin Cottage the other day, I was persuaded to buy $85 worth of supplements that a guy who works there said would be good for me. Perhaps they’re great, and they probably won’t hurt, but afterwards I began to wonder if I’m just popping things “willy-nilly” for fear of saying no to something that might work.

So, I think this whole experience is asking me to really sit still and simply be with each bit of information that arrives and see if it feels right, rather than grasping at anything and everything. I believe I’ll be more likely to keep body and soul together if I stay focused on a few choices I feel are best for me and not allow myself to get scattered across too many options. There will be points at which I’ll need to say, “Here’s the path I’m choosing for my healing. Your understanding and support of my choice would mean so much to me.”