It seems the ups and downs of this rollercoaster ride are getting more dramatic. Yesterday, I was feeling mostly “up” – even after a very full and somewhat overwhelming day at the Cancer Center. Today – well, not so much.
This morning, I was smack in the middle of writing a very upbeat post for the blog about yesterday’s “Good News” (PET scan all clear, including lymph nodes) when I got a call from Dr. Rajput’s office at UNM. He’s the surgeon I was referred to after my ultrasound. Dr. Fekrazad told me during yesterday’s appointment that he’d reviewed “my case” with Dr. Rajput and they both wanted me to see Dr. Rajput right away regarding a procedure he wants to do before the chemotherapy and radiation starts! It seems he would like to “tattoo” the area around the tumor so that when the chemo/radiation treatment shrinks it, he’ll be able to identify where the tumor formerly was when I have surgery later…
So, I was expecting a call from his office, but not this bombshell: I need to be at UNM in Albuquerque at 9:00 AM tomorrow (Friday) to meet with Dr. Rajput for the first time, and following that I will go directly to out-patient surgery for a Flexible Sigmoidoscopy, during which he’ll do the tattooing. Oh, and no solid foods today in preparation for tomorrow’s procedure. Clear liquids only until midnight, and an enema in the morning.
I hate this!
I’ve mentioned before how I dislike having this stuff sprung on me with no notice, so I won’t belabor it again now. However, I had to cancel a nice lunch appointment with Simone, who’s here visiting from Key West, since there’s no point in torturing myself by going to a restaurant when I can’t eat. And I had to call around again to see if someone could drop everything and spend six or seven hours tomorrow driving to Albuquerque and hanging out in a waiting room while I get sedated again. Thankfully, angel Shawn said she was available (“I’ll see you at 7:30!”).
But, to add insult to injury, the Cancer Center phoned, too. They needed me to come back over to pick up some prescriptions they forgot to give me yesterday. Oh, and, there’s the minor issue of getting the oral chemo drug through a service called MedBank, and you’ll need to fill out a bunch more paperwork over at their office across town.
There’s more. But I’ve spent most of my day running back and forth all over Santa Fe with nothing to eat, and I’m exhausted and emotionally spent (I cried in two government offices today, too). When I’m feeling a little better, I intend to write a post about how difficult and time consuming it is to simply manage the administration of having cancer, not to mention the actual appointments or procedures or treatments. Merely keeping up with the paperwork is a full-time job, but I’ll save that for complaining about later!
A few weeks ago I said something about hoping not to whine too much on this blog. But tonight I’m feeling pretty low and that seems to be all I can muster. I’m bummed that my “Good News” from yesterday got overshadowed before I could even get it posted! Maybe I can get back to that topic soon…but, first, I’ve got a date with a wanna-be tattoo artist bright and early.
A Different Wholeness 