I’m heading over to St. Vincent’s Hospital in just a little while. This time it’s for out-patient surgery to have a “port-a-cath” installed in my chest so they can administer the chemotherapy more easily. For whatever reason, I’ve been pretty nervous about this procedure. The idea of having a longish tube running from my collar bone up into my neck and down into an artery in my chest is just a little bit daunting.
Nearly everyone I’ve spoken to who knows about these things says it’s a good idea. It not only makes getting the chemotherapy easier, it also helps avoid complications from having chemo injected directly into a vein. Last week during my “Chemo Orientation” at the Cancer Center, I met a man in the treatment room who was having his third chemotherapy session. I was able to see his port “in action” and he assured me it had been no big deal to have it installed.
It helped ease my fears to have someone who’s actually been through this tell me not to worry too much about it. Nonetheless, I find myself unable to shake the nervous feeling this morning as I’m getting ready to go over to the hospital. It would probably be a good idea to spend the next few moments doing some breathing exercises and trying to calm myself, so I guess that’s what I’d better do instead of typing away…
I trust that this afternoon I’ll be able to report that all went well.
A Different Wholeness 
Dear Karen–
I received your blog from Patti, my friend in KW. I am so overwhelmed by emotion for you and have tried to email you for a week or more to express how much you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are so incredibly brave to be posting this blog on your experience and I really am in awe of it! I know you will be affecting so many through your selfless act. I really do hope that the process of writing about your travel through this will help center you and relieve you of some anxiety through the act of committing to the journal.
If there is anything I can do to help you, please contact me. It is obvious that you have an incredible group of friends, but I really am here if you ever feel a need. Know that you are in my prayers. I send you lots of healing energy and love and I pray that you can find peace. Thank you so much for your sharing. I have gotten so much from your journals and I am attempting to commit to your remark of approaching each day with Fascination instead of Fear. I have asked my Guardian Angel to send one of her very strongest angel friends to be with you always!
Stay strong and know that you are touching so many. You are an incredibly special person, Karen!
Love—Annie