A Different Wholeness

Saturday.  No treatment for two days – thank goodness.

I’ve been wanting to post a quick update for a few days, but it’s definitely getting harder and harder to do anything now.  I spend much of the time either lying half-conscious in bed or struggling through another episode in the bathroom.  I’ve managed to eat at more-or-less regular intervals (but only with the help of my new “anti-nausea” drug).  In the past couple of days it has become a challenge to be in an upright position for more than fifteen minutes or so.

Transferring Gases

After being so sick following last week’s chemo, Dr. Fekrazad and I discussed the option of reducing my dosage, both of the Oxaliplatin infusion and the Xeloda pills. While he was willing to reduce the dosage for the final two weeks, he also reminded me that we’re hoping for a “complete response” to treatment (i.e., no evidence of cancer following chemo and radiation), and a lower dosage raises the chance of having only a “partial response” to treatment (i.e., cancer cells still exist even after chemo and radiation).  So, while my body was shouting, “lower dosage! lower dosage!” – my brain went ahead and told Dr. Fekrazad I’d stick with the original dose.

Somehow, I made it through Wednesday’s chemo infusion with no incidents, no vomiting, etc.  My dear friend Shawn brought a picnic lunch to the Cancer Center for me once again. It’s quite a treat to have her show up with her basket of homemade food, cloth napkins, ceramic dishes, and real silverware! This time she had fixed miso soup, a bowl of rice, and some berries for dessert – all things I could manage to eat that day.  Although Wednesday went pretty well for me, by Thursday I could feel myself beginning to slide downhill.  Today, I’m still really shaky and weak, but hopefully by tomorrow I’ll have recovered a bit – so I can have the strength to start again on Monday.

But I am in the home stretch now.  Next week is my last full week of treatment (I’ll finish up in three days the following week).  My final chemo infusion is on Wednesday the 23rd.  My final radiation treatment is on Wednesday the 30th.

I may not have it in me to write much between now and the end of the month.  In the meantime, my gratitude to everyone who is keeping me in their thoughts and prayers.  Thanks for helping me hang on until I can get to the other side of this – which will be soon, I hope.