Here’s a portion of a recent entry from The Book of Awakening (my daily meditation book of choice) that spoke directly to me. Although I’m not sure I can fully embrace the author’s message today, I have hopes that I can find my way there eventually:
Be content with what you have, / rejoice in the way things are / When you realize there is nothing lacking, / the whole world belongs to you. – Lao-Tzu
Beyond what we need to survive, to better ourselves has come to mean having as much as one can store…Such a want to have things comes from a sense of scarcity, an anxiety that something is missing, which owning will somehow soothe.
But to better ourselves inwardly is another matter. The closer to heart we take this, the more we find ourselves trying to inhabit what we have carried since the beginning…a yearning to unlock the mystery of what is already there.
This difference became stark for me while struggling with cancer. For while I prayed for things to be better, my prayers were answered when I awoke one morning content to be who I am, no matter what was happening. Though things were not as I wanted, there was truly nothing lacking, and I vowed, as the nurses started their morning rounds, that I would trade places with no one, spirits with all. – Mark Nepo
At the moment, I can only aspire to this, as I must admit I pray fervently for things to be better and find it hard to really, truly accept that nothing is lacking (nourishment, strength, and health all come to mind). I believe I am content to be exactly who I am – I’d just like to be vibrantly healthy, too. But I also trust that as I work toward not wanting to “trade places” with anyone, I will find that I am “bettering” myself, both outwardly and inwardly.
A Different Wholeness 
You are, my friend. You are going to come out of this so unbelievably strong, so glowing, so knowing. I have never doubted for a moment that you are not going to surmount every last bit of this– and after that, it will be amazing to see the job that Spirit has in store for you! Peace, love, healing & blessings to you, always……
Dearest Karen, I cannot believe you have that sore throat crud on top of everything else. I had it two weeks ago and truly it seemed the worst I had ever had. And when I felt sorry for myself, I thought of all you are going through and it made me lift myself up.
I know you don’t Feel Strong…but girl! you ARE!!! to be experiencing everything as you are… and still finding a way to reach out to your friends and share. I just wish you could get a break so you could take a deep breath and feel stronger.
I continue to offer music and prayers and loving thoughts. And I have to tell you that your words ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS help keep my perspective.
You are my teacher and I have your words in my heart from all of our talks of lying fallow, after Wilma turned my life completely upside down. That was nothing compared to you having your health challenged…and…I SEE you whole and healed and a beautiful expression of the goddess you came here to be.
Lots of love,
Karen
Hey Karen ..you have been on my mind a lot lately..can’t believe you finally wanted to eat and can’t….wasssup with that universe give our girl a break here… I remember watching Billy go through something similar after his operation…I always suffer from throat problems too so can sypmathize with a little of what you are going through…maybe it’s the cancerian in us and that shakra gets blocked from not speaking out enough..?? I wish I could squeeze yer tootsies…much love and healing thoughts sending your way….
hugs..Sandie..xx
Dear Karen, pretend that I am your secretary again and hear my reminders:
Remember that recovery and renewal from anything is one step at a time.
Remember that every hurt and wrong you have experienced has lead you to the amazing, wonderful woman that you are today.
When this is over, they will all say “she did not just survive, she became”
Always in my thoughts and prayers.
Happy thoughts and pleasant dreams.
Jill
Beautiful post, Karen. No matter my situation, I can always strive to be completely at peace with who I am and where I am at this exact moment. As your friend Jill so wisely posted, recovery and renewal is one step at a time. There is no around. The only way is through. You are doing this beautifully! And you are a great inspiration to me and I can see many, many others. You’re in my daily thoughts and prayers.
Peace
Robin